Today's news in major cities, regional and local areas hich can include accident reports

Sunday, May 1, 2022

[New post] After the third attempt, still needs work

Site logo image aloysius5 posted: "I have a stab at improving this starting piece every now and then, a project that started about a year or so ago, and I find myself rewriting the start over and over because I'm not satisfied with the characterization. It's not so much the storyline, as "

After the third attempt, still needs work

aloysius5

May 1

I have a stab at improving this starting piece every now and then, a project that started about a year or so ago, and I find myself rewriting the start over and over because I'm not satisfied with the characterization.

It's not so much the storyline, as it is in trying to create sympathy for the character, and not find him as dull as ditchwater.  He's improving with age.  As writers, we tend to create colourful characters and shy away from those who are dull and boring, because after all, as a reader, you want to become something or someone who is far from ordinary.  Well, Graham is starting out ordinary, but he will be anything but by the time I write those words 'The End'.

I promise.

I am the master of my own destiny.

My father had drummed that into me, as well as my older brother and younger sister, over and over, until it became a mantra.

For them.

I could not say I didn't have the same advantages afforded to them, afforded to me.  I did.

But somewhere lost in the translation, someone forgot to tell me that it was only advice, not an order, and mistaking it for the latter, I struck out on my own path.

And for the next ten years, it was a long and winding path that led me to this point in time, in a small room that held nothing to tell me where I came from, or who I really was.

My parents were very wealthy with an Upper Westside Apartment in Manhattan and a holiday house in Martha's Vineyard, my sister had a successful medical career and married a most eligible bachelor, as expected, and my brother, he was a politician.

I'd not seen any of them in at least five years, and they hadn't called me.

You see, I was the black sheep of the family.  I dropped out of college when it all became too much, and drifted.  Seasonal labourer, farmhand, factory worker, add job man, and night watchman. 

At least now I had a uniform, and a gun, and looked like I'd made something of myself.

It was hard to say why, just before I was about to head out of the factory to end my shift, that those thoughts about them came into my mind.   They might be gone, but I guess I would never forget about them.  I wondered briefly if any of them thought about me.

It was 3 a.m. and it was like standing on the exact epicentre of the South Pole.  I'd just stepped from the factory warehouse into the car park.

The car was covered in snow.  The weather was clear now, but I could feel more snow was coming.  A white Christmas?  That's all I needed.  I hoped I remembered to put the antifreeze in my radiator this time.

As I approached my car, the light went on inside an SUV parked next to my car.  The door opened and what looked to be a woman was getting out of the car.

"Graham?"

It was a voice I was familiar with, though I hadn't heard it for a long time.

I looked again and was shocked to see my ultra-successful sister, Penelope.  She was leaning against the front fender, and from what I could see, didn't look too well.

How on earth did she find me, after all the years that had passed?  Perhaps that sparked my un-conciliatory question, "What do you want?"

I could see the surprise and then hurt in her expression.  Perhaps I had been a little harsh.  Whatever she felt, it passed, and she said, "Help."

My help?  Help with what? I was the last person who could help her, or anyone for that matter, with anything.   But curiosity got the better of me.  "Why?"

"I think my husband is trying to kill me."

Then, with that said, she slid down the side of the car, and I could see, in the arc lamps lighting the car park, a trail of blood.

My first thought, she needed the help of a doctor, not a stupid brother, then a second thought, call 911, which I did, and hoped like hell they got here in time.

And, yes, there was a third thought that crossed my mind.  Whether or not I would be blamed for this event.

© Charles Heath 2022

Comment
Like
Tip icon image You can also reply to this email to leave a comment.

Unsubscribe to no longer receive posts from Thrills, Spills, and just a dash of Romance.
Change your email settings at manage subscriptions.

Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser:
http://aloysius5.com

Powered by WordPress.com
Download on the App Store Get it on Google Play
at May 01, 2022
Email ThisBlogThis!Share to XShare to FacebookShare to Pinterest

No comments:

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

JHI Blog: Recent posts

...

  • [New post] 6 Apps You Must Add to Your iPhone ASAP | FinanceBuzz
    lhvi3...
  • [New post] Germany Offers Free of Cost Work Visas to Indian IT Workers
    Arooj Fatima posted: " Indian IT professionals can now enjoy Germany's one of the best offers in terms of immigration. ...
  • [New post] Is Chicken In A Biskit Coming Back? We Just Got Word That It Might Be
    trentbartlett posted: "Rumours around this snack's return have been floating around the internet for a little while now...

Search This Blog

  • Home

About Me

Today's news in major cities, regional and local areas which can include accident reports, police & emergency responses, criminal and court proceedings or live
View my complete profile

Report Abuse

Blog Archive

  • September 2025 (7)
  • August 2025 (8)
  • July 2025 (5)
  • June 2025 (7)
  • May 2025 (3)
  • April 2025 (10)
  • March 2025 (8)
  • February 2025 (6)
  • January 2025 (4)
  • December 2024 (6)
  • November 2024 (8)
  • October 2024 (9)
  • September 2024 (8)
  • August 2024 (5)
  • July 2024 (10)
  • June 2024 (10)
  • May 2024 (11)
  • April 2024 (4)
  • March 2024 (1462)
  • February 2024 (3037)
  • January 2024 (3253)
  • December 2023 (3238)
  • November 2023 (3122)
  • October 2023 (3010)
  • September 2023 (2524)
  • August 2023 (2299)
  • July 2023 (2223)
  • June 2023 (2164)
  • May 2023 (2229)
  • April 2023 (2135)
  • March 2023 (2236)
  • February 2023 (2171)
  • January 2023 (2326)
  • December 2022 (2500)
  • November 2022 (2470)
  • October 2022 (2648)
  • September 2022 (1909)
  • August 2022 (1839)
  • July 2022 (1856)
  • June 2022 (1969)
  • May 2022 (2411)
  • April 2022 (2354)
  • March 2022 (1867)
  • February 2022 (1013)
  • January 2022 (1050)
  • December 2021 (1620)
  • November 2021 (3122)
  • October 2021 (3276)
  • September 2021 (3145)
  • August 2021 (3259)
  • July 2021 (3084)
Powered by Blogger.