Today has been a rough day, although all the roughness is in my own head.
Do you have days like this? Where you just can't function like you're supposed to for one reason or another? Yet you have to?
And this frustration runs through the rest of your day.
What I wouldn't do to be perfect.
Everything written out, scheduled, cleaned, detailed, caught up, thought out, followed through, crossed off, and completed.
Logic has never been my best friend. Nor has written out, scheduled, cleaned, detailed, caught up, thought out, followed through, crossed off, and completed.
It's all cute and forgivable when you're 12 or 13. When you're older it feels like you've been left behind.
When I do things my way it's often the screwy way, the backwards way, the long way. I don't mind, because I never really notice that it's the screwy way, the backwards way, or the long way. I just do it my way.
People then ask why I make so much more work for myself. Why I didn't go directly from A to B. Why I make things so complicated.
They're right. I'm just wired wrong, I guess. I get everything done sooner or later. It's often not perfect, but I've always made a decent effort. Unfortunately, a decent effort doesn't always cut it.
At this point I don't know how to change my flow.
And I don't think I can.
I'm beginning to see why younger people get so frustrated with older people. We don't move or think fast enough, straight enough, purposely enough. We don't mess things up on purpose -- to us we're doing it the right way, just like everyone else.
I'm frustrating to myself these days.
Some of us used to walk that straight line quite well, but now have a hard time staying on it.
I think I wandered off that line a long time ago. As a matter of fact, I'm one of those who often think...
....What line?
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