Here is an example why choosing the right partner in life is so important. Recently, Margie and I had a text exchange the revealed an interesting truth that many of us might be struggling with. Margie has been doing an amazing job of living a healthier lifestyle. I am beyond proud of the amazing job she is doing. In doing so, she discovered one of the greatest obstacles to her success. The irony of this obstacle is it was the very thing that enabled her to persevere in many other areas of life. It was, indeed, a double-edged sword.
What was this double-edged sword that my lady both fought with and could also slay any chance she had at being successful with adopting a lifestyle that would allow her to reduce her stress, live longer with her children and grandchildren and have more energy? Her independent mindset. As she so eloquently stated, she never had anyone in her life telling her, "No you should not do that." This served her in many ways. It helped her to develop the belief in herself she needed to start her own DJ and cake business. When people told her that she might not be able to learn the skills necessary her inner response (and often outer response because that is how my lady works) was, "Nobody can tell me what to do." This works great for many situations, such as starting your own business. Without it, she might have fell victim to other people's doubts, limitations and superstitions. It also helped her develop a belief in herself and a sense of independence.
Like many things in life, this independent spirit can be a double-edged sword. If used improperly, it can close our minds to considering and learning anything outside of what we believe to be true. I will also prevent us from changing behaviors that we know deep down are not serving us for fear we will look wrong. Not only to others, but more importantly, to ourselves. Telling ourselves and others, "Nobody is going to tell me what to eat." or "Nobody is going to make me exercise!" may make us feel powerful. We may even resist doing something we know would be healthier. Why on earth would we do that? If you are using the independent spirit improperly you may worry about doing something they told you to. You may also fear something bigger. The fact that the way you chose to live your life was not the best way. This can be hard for any of us.
To admit our personal identity is flawed, may seem like a failure. I disagree. In my humble opinion, I view as "I am awesome and I just found a way to level up!" As great as any of us are, we cannot know everything about everything. Being stubborn and inflexible may seem powerful, like a mountain. What can wear away a mountain? The most flexible material on earth - water. We must grow and develop. Many times that means accepting the fact that we did not make the best choices in the past. Does that mean you are a failure? No. It means you are getting better.
In many cases of self-improvement, our own worst enemy can be between our own two ears. It can be difficult to overcome a certain mindset. Especially if that same mindset has allowed us to achieve many of our accomplishments. It is a struggle, as my lady will attest to. It involves developing a great deal of self-discipline. This is true freedom. Not letting others master us may seem like the ultimate power. Mastering ourselves, growing and evolving, that is the ultimate power. My lady is doing it. You can too!
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