When The Soul Speaks …
It has taken me so long to put this into words. I'm not even certain where to begin. So in my backwards way, I'll just feel, and write to you.
I hope when you see this, where ever you are, you truly know … I love you.
It is the laughter and smiles I remember, I carry that with me always. Then I reflect the whole. If I could, I dunno, just for one day. I would. To hear that laughter, watch you dance, hear you sing, yeah I would. I would move Heaven and Earth for you. If you only knew how much I love you.
I struggle with saying past tense, because my soul doesn't understand. For somewhere in my mind, you are right here with me. Laughing. Dancing. Singing, Telling jokes. I even miss your temper. Cause well, I miss you.
I can smell you when I am awake, I can smell you in my sleep. I feel you. Like a spirit that watches over me. You are with me. You are here.
Your love is what made me, and makes me whole. So I don't know where to begin. I'll begin now.
You are my inspiration. You are my hero. You held me, when only darkness I could see. You gave me strength and hope. So much so, I share. What you gave me, I just want back for you. I want to open my heart. I will.
For so many years, I couldn't even breathe, because you were missing. What is mine is mine alone. I stored you in a box, because you are mine. Then, I struggle to set you free.
However, you will always be with me…
I get angry, frustrated, insecure, ugh.
I thought you were indiscructible, yet showing me you have flaws, makes you perfect. In showing me how to be human, was the greatest gift of all. You taught me curiosity, passion, zeal, compassion, empathy, and zest. You taught me how to create, and how to build.
I miss you.
Words are not enough for you. In my head, music always plays, when I think of you. I am possessive, territorial, and you are mine. I know that is wrong, but it makes you happy, and makes me smile. For you know you are mine. All my heart, all my mind, all my soul.
Did I tell you I am so very selfish. I want you here, right now. I know it is so wrong. For you are at peace.
One more day. What would I do for one more day?
Just know, I love you. Forever, and a day.
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