Earthpages.org posted: "Does opening our eyes necessitate a fall from grace? Personally, I don't think so. But let me backtrack a bit. After living in India for a couple of years I became increasingly uncomfortable with how some of the Asian and New Age religions I had explor" Earthpages.orgRead on blog or Reader
Does opening our eyes necessitate a fall from grace? Personally, I don't think so. But let me backtrack a bit.
After living in India for a couple of years I became increasingly uncomfortable with how some of the Asian and New Age religions I had explored were making me feel when I returned to Canada in the late 1980s and early 90s. The situation got pretty bad so I called a Toronto-based Catholic priest I had met during a delayed flight in Nepal. The weather in Nepal was unsafe and the airlines had put us up for the night. So a priest, a German-based Hindu holy man and I shared a Nepali hotel room. It sounds like an opening scene for late-night TV but it's true.
Looking back, I see my meeting with those two men as providential. I was becoming desperate and the once intriguing and enjoyable headtrips of Asian and New Age beliefs were just spacing me out and making life hellish back in Canada. My doctor prescribed something that only made everything worse. I'm telling you, I was scared and felt like a victim of ongoing spiritual attack and harassment.
The Toronto priest said that many of the Hindu gods and goddesses "are really demons." And another priest said that Muslims are "kith and kin to Satan," even though it wasn't Islam that was bothering me.
I'm not sure I would agree with their extreme take on non-Christian religions but at the time, I needed some kind of deliverance from seriously oppressive numinosities, and the prayers and holy water the Toronto priests gave me helped immeasurably.
I more or less shunned my old Hindu guru and pretty much everything to do with Asian and New Age religions.
Totally exasperated, I threw my small Buddha and Radha/Krishna statues I'd bought in India deep into the Ottawa River one cold winter day. I just wanted to move on from the obfuscating numinosities I had found myself drowning in.
Some of my Canadian friends were helpful while others were not. Mostly I was alone with a serious problem, about to embark on a Ph.D. program, and in need of some spiritual clarity and elevation.
The Catholic Church did provide that deliverance to some extent. However, in keeping with Asian teachings, I found that attending Mass was elevating but also a place to pick up authoritarian and childish vibes from some priests and parishioners alike.
I had tried converting to Catholicism in Ottawa, where I did my PhD, but didn't finish. Not until returning to Toronto did I complete the RCIA and become a full Catholic.
That was in 2001, and today my experience with the Church has evolved but is not entirely different.
When in church and listening to some biblical reading that my independent studies have compelled me to question, I can't help but feel a bit of cognitive dissonance. I generally keep a low profile at Mass because I'm not a rabble-rouser at heart and also, am paradoxically experiencing loads of grace. But when I get home my intellect returns full force and I tend to think, think, and think some more.
To be continued... where I want to talk about the following:
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