in all of the my recent time spent in the various forests and habitats
and all of my encounters with flora and fauna
(with each of them having powers much stronger than mine)
i never once had a situation where they were aggressive
or when i had to defend myself against any of them
until
one night in a rain forest hotel
with screened windows for an open cross breeze
perfect for sleeping
i at last laid down exhausted on my bed
only to feel something flying near my face
jumping up and turning on a light
i noticed quite a few flying ants
buzzing around my room
and some walking ants marching around
who i strongly tried to encourage to leave my space
and then every time i would feel like i was in charge
i'd see a couple more casually strolling or flying by
from the corner of my eye
so i tried to figure out how they had gotten in
and to find the source
and i remembered the humans telling us
not to leave our doors open for more than a minute
as all of the bugs, and perhaps a mammal, would feel free to visit
and i remembered talking to a fellow traveler
with my door open
just before going in to sleep
so perhaps the ant leaders and their minions had taken that as a welcome
as i looked around the room
i noticed some of the flying ones stuck inside of my lampshade
no doubt waylaid when trying to 'go to the light'
and the crawling ants seemed to be heading to my extra pillow
to join others who got their early to hang out in its case
so i knew i had to take drastic measures
survival skills kicked in
and i took the entire ant nightclub/pillow, case and all
and threw it in the shower
turned the water on high for a bit
(was i trying to drown them?)
and then tried to close them in the bathroom
by haphazardly/half-assedly (if it was a word)
closing the door and using bath towels to fill in the cracks
with a small crack to let a bit of light out to watch for others
not the best plan
(was i trying to imprison them?)
and finally went to sleep
with one last solo flyer buzzing by
just to make his point
and when i woke up in the morning
none were to be found walking around or flying by
all was quiet on the front
i'm sure they were resting after all of their late night hijinks
but i'm guessing whoever came to clean my room later
might wonder why i had a drenched bed pillow in a case hanging to dry in the shower
with the door closed and towels all used
and why my lampshade was filled with dried flyers
and if i get a bill for a replacement pillow
one day when i least expect it
perhaps in 3 years and a day
i will happily pay the bill
it would be a small price to pay
for winning my battle
and the ants are probably laughing it off somewhere
knowing they actually won the battle
with only a few downed soldiers left behind
and would find a new place to party the next night.
no doubt with replacements.
and the howler monkeys screeched out 'good morning' as only they can do.
"bugs are not going to inherit the earth. they own it now. so we might as well make peace with the landlord."
-thomas eisner
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